What Can Men Do to Make Women Feel Safer?
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Women have to live with the unfortunate reality that sexual assault does happen, and nearly always to women. This means that sometimes women are fearful, anxious about getting home safely, worried about opening the front door, or a little tense on that first date.
One in three women is sexually assaulted in her lifetime. Women are not being paranoid when they get a little nervous about sexual overtones from someone they hardly know. Women want to be with men that they know are allies in the struggle against sexism and rape. Men can help to make the social and sexual climate a whole lot better for all the women out there who are being realistic about their safety. Certain attitudes and behaviors make some women uncomfortable. This list begins to target a few of them so that the women of UCSB can walk around feeling just a little - or a lot - safer.
Be a leader. Make a difference for all the women you know. And for the men, too. Take time to think about some of these issues:
- When you are talking with a woman do you look her in the eyes or do you look at her chest?
- When you're walking behind a woman at night who is alone, do you follow too closely or do you make an effort to cross to the other side of the street?
- When you are introduced to a woman do you shake hands without any sexual overtones?
- Do you touch women without their invitation to do so?
- Have you thought about the impact of posters that use women to sell beer, surfboards, music, or sports? Are you willing to take these down?
- Do you compliment women on more than their looks? For instance, their ideas, imagination, cleverness, humor?
- Do you try to keep an open mind when a woman tells you something feels sexist, insensitive, or demeaning? Do you take her seriously?
- Do you or your friends ever follow or stare at women you see in cars, or make noises at them?
- Are you aware if you interrupt women while they are talking?
- Have you thought about the impact of jokes that make fun of a woman's size, looks, brains, fears, anger, ideas, or opinions?
- Have you thought about the impact of talking violently or harshly about having sex (nailing her, doing it to her, banging)?
- Have you considered enrolling in a women's or ethnic studies class to gain a better understanding of power issues?
- When you see other men engaging in negative behaviors, do you speak out against this and explain your reasons to them?
- Do you stick to your beliefs about being anti-sexist in front of other men? Are you a leader, or a follower?
- Do you accept "No" from a woman the first time she says it?
- Are you aware that having sex with someone who has not given consent, or who is too drunk to be able to give consent, is rape?
If you are interested in talking more about some of these issues, enroll in a Women's Studies course, talk with men in the Rape Prevention Education Program at the Women's Center, schedule a workshop on acquaintance sexual assault for your residence hall, fraternity or club, talk about some of the questions above with your friends (both men and women), or visit the Women's Center.
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